So hows my life going? It seems to me everyone knows but me. Everyone seems to have their own opinion of my life and situation that they won't share with me. Hmmmm.... If they do...its at a distance. My pride is what hurts the most.

So things got really, really weird for a while. My e-mail was hacked. I was tailed by gang members while driving several times. I had some crazy attack me in a parking lot. I found out that my one and only confidant was telling everyone he knew about my affairs and what I had told him. This is just the surface stuff.

The students that were harassing me before I left for the reservation have been following me around and harassing me about smoking (again). Its seems that everyone I know (excluding my mother knows) and everyone thinks I'm some kind of sexual retard because of all the set ups I botched. I still don't get why they had no faith in me and why they wouldn't just speak to my face about the whole affair. It would seem that there was some type of prize offered. I had heard inklings of this for a while. The private social manipulation firm known as the Tavi_stock Institute has manipulated groups of people and public opinion for years. A story I heard about a girls whose friends and family all acted together clandestinely to harass and disturb her and almost drive her crazy until she had changed her life for the better. This little ploy was put on by this private organization with the promise of a prize for the girl if she met the institutes standard for a better life. According to the man who wrote the blog with the girls note and his reply there is rarely if ever an up front disclosure of the situation by the institute OR the friends family and community members involved. Why? Most of the individuals were too embarrassed that they had committed such acts and subverted their relationship with the targeted individual. They just could not face the person after the fact. Whats more, there was and never has been any payout given by this institute or any other for such efforts. The claims according to the research of the author of that blog stated he had found little, to no evidence of such a thing. Furthermore the author also stated that the prize may have been used as a carrot before a mule to goad friends and associates into acting on what they thought would be the best for their friend or relative. Driving them on to see that there was a payout in the future. Sworn to secrecy, they were told not to say nothing to the targeted individual or the prize would be forfeit.
In my case, everyone who heard about it jumped on board. When people I didn't know started stalking me and harassing me in public, following me around, breaking into my van, breaking into my home, performing street theater, and slandering my name, they put my life and lives of those in my family in jeopardy. People who had no business in my life were disclosing private issues to me across rooms and streets in public places. The people who thought to set me up with some one to have sex with had really only scared the hell out of me by the way they were acting. People whom I had known for years changed their behavior towards me over night. Suddenly I was hearing where ever I went "Isn't he that guy...?"
Traffic cutoffs. Nasty remarks about me from waitresses insinuating that they knew me and were laughing at me because of what they thought they knew. People following me to cafes and having conversations about me right in front of me without ever acknowledging me when confronted. The list goes on. There are just too many "Incidents" to describe in one blog.
What saved me was spirituality. Faith in myself. Knowing that I had done nothing wrong. I went about looking for information and found loads. GANGSTALKING. Cause stalking. Happy slapping, workplace mobbing. The list goes on. COINTELPRO, MKULTRA, University professors and psychology students used as tools for research on unsuspecting citizens. Stanford, Berkely, UCSC, UCLA, USC. The connections are endless. The social experiment is being played out on many people including myself.
This modern phenomenon has followed the upswing in mobile technology and neighborhood watch groups. Do gooder home bodies and church preachers who want to clean up their neighborhoods. Politicians and private interests who believe, since they have the money, that they have the right to decide who is going to live where and who is to be swatted and ruined as they might be a threat. To what I can only guess based on the information I have.
If my friends are involved they need to come forward and put all this to rest. I've quit smoking, if that was the goal, and hey I've even been laid (again-like it was a huge issue before...?), and have my life up and running despite the daily harassment and torment.
If my brothers are involved, and I think they are, they had better be forewarned that the people that they've hooked up with are not going to take care of what they need to. These people will rob them and leave them and the family in the gutter if they don't rethink their friendships and associations. This goes for my nephews too. Those christians won't show you they way. This is all for their own ego and church image. "Just bring the sheep to the church." If these boys don't learn that letting these forces into the private lives of our family can have devastating consequences then we ALL will suffer in the future. Not only to the individuals within the family but to the rights of every person on the planet when those rights are thrown aside for what some will call the best good of all. Tsk, tsk.
I've managed to float free and find my own, work down the path I had intended. Only it was much harder than it had to be. The harassment has left me physically, mentally and emotionally weary. Though my resolve is much stronger and I am able to make it on my own. The damage to my physical body (dental, stress) has been great. My reputation has been ruined as people know me where ever I go as the guy who's afraid to have sex, or the guy who's afraid of women.
God what a joke. These people have really pulled the wool over alot of peoples eyes. and made a joke of me and my life.
I've had learn a great deal about forgiveness and and letting go. Its just too hard tell who was in on the whole affair though I've memorized the faces of many. And those turn their eyes to the curb when I walk by.
My sex life is non-existent. I so afraid that I might end up in bed with one of the harassers that I've given up on ever finding anyone in the Scruz scene (or the bay area scene for that matter). Lonelness plays at the edges of my mind driving me to look for new asociations on a nightly basis. I've met some good people. But none that will have sex with me. The rumor is just too wide spread for me to have any connections in this town. Though there are some hopes...All based on my own efforts at out reach.
I have a good vehicle now. And I'm almost fully legal. The road soon beckons and my Dad's basement will become a past nightmare once I get vehicle registration and a gym membership. Maintaining a strong public face has been hard but what I depend upon to make it throught the day. I have a high opinion of myself now. I've withstood the worst they've thrown and I'm still standing. I'll keep searching for more truth.